Well…things have gotten significantly worse haven’t they?

I knew this virus was going to be bad based on the early reports I read on Twitter of how things were going in Italy, China, and South Korea. And as it made landfall in the US and the numbers started trickling in and 45 bumblefucked his way through the initial appearance, I was afraid things would get worse and worse. But I didn’t expect the entire country to screech to a halt.

I think it’s okay to say that I’m afraid. Not necessarily of getting the virus, although don’t take that as some display of glib bravado either. I’m concerned about the virus — I have asthma and my wife is immunocompromised and those are two groups that are very vulnerable. But my fear is a bit beyond just the virus. My fear is the unintended repercussions.

For one thing, people are…well…continuing to be people. The same folks that voted for Donald Trump to be president are now obstinately going to bars to prove that they ain’t afraid of not viruses. Which, of course, is how viruses like these spread most easily — large gatherings of people. And since this virus has, from what I’ve read, a 2 week incubation period, it is far too easy to come into contact with someone that doesn’t have symptoms and end up contracting and spreading the virus.

Arkansas doesn’t have as many cases as the large metropolitan areas and areas with big airport hubs, but our count is on the rise, too, and that has lead to basically everything in our area shutting down. Schools, church programs, public events, live theatrical performances. Businesses with the capabilities are having their employees work from home through at least the start of April. Things are steadily grinding to a halt in our area. And that’s what I’m afraid of.

The US economy is like those cheap, easily destructible plastic trash bags. Basically, we’ve all been pushed to consume as much as we can — buy things, eat out, travel, do what you can as often as you can — because if we stop, our economy collapses. Situations like this that affect our ability to go out and be good little capitalists cause the economy to split like those cheap bags, dumping all of our prosperity onto the ground. And every so often, we see the bag start to split, and we throw another bag on for more support. But eventually, that bag splits, too. So we just keep throwing another bag on, hoping it’ll hold it all. And sometimes, the bag splits so bad that we have to gather most of our stuff off of the floor and rebag it — the Great Depression, the big Recession of ’08.

If people stop buying things, going out to eat, and generally spending money except in very specific areas, I’m afraid of the recession that hits us after. Or worse. If we were a better funded government, if we hadn’t had years of Republicans cutting and defunding social benefits programs and rolling back every protection they could get their hands on, we could probably withstand it. As is, I’m afraid if this goes more than a couple of weeks — and it easily could since, unlike South Korea, we do not have a good healthcare system infrastructure to rely on, nor do we have strong, responsive leaders — then we’ll start seeing layoffs.

Layoffs scare me more than any virus could. Because my wife and I just clawed our way back to a point where we weren’t desperately living paycheck to paycheck. I mean, we’re still balanced on a knife’s edge as far as finances go, but things have been working up and we’ve finally been able to start investing in our futures some. The occasional surprise expense doesn’t feel like my world is ending, anymore. The thought of going back to that fills me with a nearly paralyzing, blood-chilling dread that borders on panic.

The title of this post is only really a half-joke. While I hope that things turn out fine and everyone laughs this off as an over-reaction, I’m much more concerned about if it doesn’t, if it’s worse than we feared. I’m afraid of people dying by the thousands, of the economy collapsing, of our government instituting in authoritarian measures in response to the virus. I can easily see them trying to postpone our elections or otherwise interfere with them until “threats are under control,” which conveniently never happens.

I was already a very anxious person about this election. Biden wasn’t my first (or even top five) choice, but he’s far and away better than 45. Whether he could beat 45, whether he could rally enough of the folks that foolishly voted for the worst president in living memory to vote for him instead, was another matter. 45 is an existential threat to our country, and I fear what will happen if we get another 4 years of him, not just because of his tendency toward racist, xenophobic authoritarian policies, but his inability to handle actual crises and his compulsive need to make himself look better regardless of the situation. He is still going on TV and downplaying the severity of the virus because he’s afraid of looking like he doesn’t have control.

All that said…I’m trying to remain hopeful. People are banding together in wonderful ways. The video of Italians playing together is lovely. I saw a Twitter thread where folks were Venmoing other folks money to cover their bills. We’re genuinely seeing some of the best that humanity has to offer if we know where to look.

I’m hoping for two things:

1) That the local and state governments respond swiftly and effectively where our federal government can’t and won’t and gets ahead of this before things have a chance to get really bad

2) That enough people see the problems exposed in our system that we see a sea-change in policy and politicians: Medicare for All, debt loan forgiveness, robust social programs, and higher taxes on the super-rich. I hope that American’s shift back toward the left enough that we at least re-align with the rest of the world.

It may be a fool’s hope, but if we don’t have something to hold onto, we’ll drown in despair. And by “we,” I mean me.

And as for you folks, I hope you’re staying safe, staying healthy, and taking the steps to keep yourselves that way and avoiding unnecessary risks. You are all amazing, wonderful people. If you need a voice or pick me up, drop a comment here and we can talk about whatever nonsense you want — puppies, dumb old TV shows (Biker Rats From Mars? Super Duper Sumos?), or whatever.